In preparing for Teegen's birthday, I've thought a lot about our trip out West to meet her. I've recounted the story an endless number of times in recent weeks to basically anyone who would listen. And I've been thinking a lot about Teegen's birthmother...what a monumental decision she made...and in talking with her throughout the last year, she's never regretted it.
Since I was a little girl, the one constant in my life was that I wanted to be a mother. As a teenager, when I really started processing the death of my mother, that drive became even stronger. Regardless of situations faced concerning getting pregnant and all the ups and downs of the adoption roller coaster, I always knew this dream would one day become reality.
The first few days of parenthood, beginning from when we first heard that this little girl was destined to be our daughter are literally burned into my brain. I remember every emotion, thought and image swirling in my brain. From our mad dash through the Charlotte airport to ensure that we didn't miss our flight to not eating for 14+ hours to feeling like I would surely throw up as we waited to meet Teegen's birthmother to the smell of the NICU soap are still readily available for me to conjure up at the mere thought of those days. These are all an integral part of my "birth" experience. When friends discuss their labor and birth experiences, I happily tell them mine.
The fact that I was chosen to be this little girl's mother is still so surreal to me. As surreal as it was to look at her, so pink and new and tiny, when I first laid eyes on her. She was so so so tiny and truly the miracle I had hoped for.
To say that Teegen has changed my life does not begin to describe the impact she has had on me. She is the center of my world, without a doubt. And I cannot remember what we did before she came or what life was like before. She is truly a blessing.
And to think, we may get to start this all over again in the fall!
2 comments:
Wow- happy first birthday Teegen! Such a big girl and adorable to! And how exciting that you may do this again very soon!
I still just can't believe she's a year old now. Such a cutie. Love the reflection - rings so true for me as well in so many ways. I was wondering what the status of round two was - been thinking about ya on that one, wondering if the potential plan was still out there!
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