Since this blog began, I have talked frequently about losing my mom at a young age and how that shaped the person I've become. And I've been thinking a lot lately about how it has shaped my parenting and my relationship with my daughter. Even more so today, which marks 23 years since my mother passed away.
Last year I found myself at a very low point on this day. This year I wanted to start a new tradition, particularly since I now have a daughter. Instead of having a pity party for myself, I wanted to celebrate my mom and her life. I wanted to honor the ties of mother and daughter, those of the past and those of the present.
So I took the day off, loaded Teegen into the car and surprised my grandmother at work. She was so glad to see Teegen, which brightened her day. Shocked her, but brightened her day nonetheless. After lunch with my dad, we headed to my mom's gravesite. Teegen napped, while I meditated and reflected, leaving me with a sense of peace and reassurance.
We went back to my grandmother's house to wait for her to get home from work. Teegen and I spent some time enjoying the beautiful weather, eating some banana flavored puffs and swinging on the front porch. I fed Teegen puffs and she fed them to me. She took in her surroundings and enjoyed swinging for the first time. And in those moments, I realized how deep our bond has become and how important we are to one another. It was truly amazing. And I like to think that my mom was right there with us, watching and smiling as the void left in me when she died has been filled by this new and beautiful soul.