Venting, Insensitive People and Some Good News

From the very first time Larry and I began to tell people we're adopting, the majority of responses have all been pretty positive. Family members immediately embraced this unknown life as a welcomed addition to the clan. Close friends started doling out parenting tips. Coworkers eagerly ask questions about where we stand in the process and when we might know something more. We both know that our child will be welcomed and accepted, just the same as a child who would share our DNA.

I realize that international adoption is not really something that you encounter on a routine basis, particularly in small town Virginia. However, in recent weeks I've come across some rather insensitive people who have a tendency to say some rather insensitive things. I realize that not everyone understands everything about adoption or international adoption or Vietnam. But I wish that people would ask questions and wait for answers rather than say something really, really stupid and hurtful.

Since this is a subject that has really bothered me, I figured I would post a few answers to these questions.

• We are not paying for the baby. We are paying for the agency's services, mailings, education, orphanage service fees and medical exams, among other things.
  

• I don't know exactly why it takes so long to process things. It takes nine months to complete a pregnancy and we are well within the time frame.

• Just because I'm not going to experience natural childbirth does not mean that I am not going to be a real mother. Nor does it mean that Larry is not going to be a real father. We struggled with infertility for awhile and decided that it meant more for us to be parents than to continue down the fertility treatment road.
  

Sorry for the rant! Some things have been getting to me lately.

In more positive news, we should have three original copies of our home study in our hands by Monday at the latest!!!!!!! And then it will be on its way to USCIS office. We are working diligently to get the rest of our dossier together. The dossier is a packet of important documents that will go to Vietnam. This is a huge step for us.

We've also started working on pulling together a nursery. So far it looks great! I'll post pictures when it's completed.